just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
