Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
