I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
