Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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