so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
