you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
