Little spoons don't ask big questions
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
