He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
