I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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