Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
