Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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