Yo dont text me then not text me
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
