i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
