Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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