Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You made out with two different species that night
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
