I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
