What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
