On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
