Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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