oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
