The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize