Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Randomize
