hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
A bitchslap is in order.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize