She's JV to your varsity
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
