Midget sex pt 2 tonight
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
