You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
