FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
