If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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