why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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