Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
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