at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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