Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize