So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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