i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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