Pregnant stripper...not hot.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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