I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
