I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
