You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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