Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
