SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
