My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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