hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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