white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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