You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
