Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
