i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
