For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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