dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize