i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
