dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize