In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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