hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
