Do you still have your period?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
