No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
