woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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