Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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