Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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