And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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