He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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