for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
