So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
