So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize