Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
