i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
