think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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