I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
