Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
