The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
the liver wants what the liver wants
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
