my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
