i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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