Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
