Having a random hookup so left but love u
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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