I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
