i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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