Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
