we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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