I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
